That time i tried aerial silks

There’s something about being suspended in the air on a piece of silk that always appealed to me. The flowiness of the silk, the way the fabric wraps around the artist’s body and when they do that thing where they drop into the splits with the fabric pulling their legs apart… ummm yah, sign me up.

So off I go to sign up for an intro class. You know where they make you sign a waiver and list your emergency contact? Been there, done that. But this time there was a section where I had to put in my care card number. As in, “Sorry sir, your wife cracked her head open but not to worry, we’ve got her insurance deets and help is on its way”. I dusted off my medical card and punched in the number. I’m excited.
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Day of the class, I’m all limbered up with some Animal Flow and a belly full of deep fried tortilla chips and a sangria I just crushed at happy hour. Now I’m really excited and bloated.

I get to the circus school and my circus dreams start coming true. Strips of long flowy silk suspend from the very high ceiling. There’s a woman on the ground with 10lb ankle weights on, contorting her body into a splits so wide and deep, I’m pretty sure her legs are no longer attached at the groin anymore. Whoa. There’s a few guys bouncing around on the trampoline, flipping and looking All. So. Damn. Cool.

I close my mouth for a bit as the instructor introduces herself as Alex. Then she tells me to take off my pants. Say what now? Apparently I missed that memo that no zippers were allowed on clothing as it can rip the silks. And of course I wore my fancy pants with the zippered pocket in case I need to put Miss Splits in there and take her home. Thank goodness all I had to do was wear my pants inside out and not go commando, because it was laundry day and my underwear was hanging on by a thread and definitely not show-off-to-strangers-material. You know how some pants have a gusset around the vajayjay area that’s a different color from the rest of the pants? Ya, I was running around with hot pink vajayjay pants all night long. Hey, look at my vagina everyone!
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Ok what was I talking about again? Oh right, the lesson starts. There’s 4 other women in the class and you know, I’m competitive AF and there’s no way I’m gonna let them beat me and Alex, you’re gonna be so impressed with my skillzzzzz! Truth: I’m a little buzzed from the sangria. I’m ready to kill it.

We get into the drills and next thing you know, I’m a Silky Acrobatic Princess, flying through the air, doing the splits, twirling and whirling, and the crowd goes wild! Haha NOT. There’s no crowd. And definitely no splits. There was however, a lot of burping and refluxing of aforementioned chips. Why did you have to eat the whole basket Mya?! We learn some basic movements and I’m able to get in and out of the silks, do a plank thing, a cocoon thing, and a bounce up and down thing. My favorite part was the upside down thing with the silks supporting your hips while you go spread eagle with your legs. Look at my vagina everyone!

And then it was over. I had so much fun! My dream of quitting my day job and joining the circus is not gonna happen just yet. Maybe after a few more classes cuz I’m definitely coming back. I learned that whenever I put myself out there and come to any new situation with an open mind and hopefully clean underwear, I’m goint to have a damn good time. Next on my list is a hip hop dance class. Cuz yo girl needs some new moves. Woot woot.
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Would you dare take an aerial silks class? What class have you always wanted to try but haven’t yet? What’s holding you back? Do it! I’ll be cheering you on with my pants right side out. You’ve got this!

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